Should I have another baby? When I hear other women ask this question, I'm always perplexed by the idea that some people PLAN these things. I've been blessed enough that my husband and I have never had to "try" to get pregnant. Yes, we're very blessed. If you ever saw me in the middle of my first trimesters, you might have watched me shaking my fists to the heavens and yelling, "Stop Blessing Me!"
When you have a child every two years (or so) like I do, your kids start to expect a new addition. They say things like, "I meed a baby brudder", and "Mom, can we name our new baby Frederica?" and "Mom, can we have a girl next?". Those are the easy questions; I still do not know exactly what to say when the little boys ask "How do you get your baby out?" or worse still, "How did your baby get in ?".
Number 6 (then, five years old): Can I watch Netflix?
Me (looking through pictures on my phone): No, lunch is almost ready.
No. 6 (looking over my shoulder): Is that when Number 7 was in your belly?
Me: No, that's when YOU were in my belly.
No. 6: And he was in my belly?
Me: Haha, no! Babies are only in mommy bellies.
No. 6: Well, how do they come out? … Mom, how did he come out of your belly?
Me: * Totally trying to change the subject *
No. 6: Mom, did they cut you? How did they get him out?
Me: * sigh * Mommies have special holes that babies can come out of.
No. 6 (smiling widely): Is it your belly button?
Me: … What do you want to watch on Netflix?
Should I have another baby?
In every family, there are pros and cons to child-bearing, no matter how big or small your family is. I've always believed that the only consideration should be Love: Are you willing to unselfishly love a new addition? If you are, then everything else can be problem-solved.
I know what it feels like to cringe at the prospect of telling family and friends that you're pregnant again . There seems to be something shaming about having more than three kids; almost as if I'm now personally responsible for over-population, and kicking feminism back 50 years. Avoiding the dive jokes, pity, and even hostility of others is unavoidable. Resources (financial, time, emotional, etc.) always need to be addressed. Having another baby is not easy.
Even so, we love having a large family, but I hate hate hate the first trimester sickness. If I could just collect a new baby without the morning sickness, I'd be perfectly happy. Some people collect weird stuff – do not judge me.
No. 6 (8 years old): What if we have another baby? We've got to go through all the trouble of naming it.
Me: What would you name it?
No. 6 * falls off chair *: Oww!
Me: No, that's not a good name.
No. 6: Owwlexander.
Dad: Nice Recovery.
Benefits of having Multiple Children
My two girls are best friends. They share everything except clothes. The sound of them giggling with their heads together fills my heart with joy. The four boys after the girls are also best friends. They use their imagination together, play together, and entertain each other endlessly. Best of all, there are things that they all enjoy together; there are shows that none of them will watch if even one of them is missing. (By missing, I mean out of the house for some reason … not actually on the side of a milk-carton.)
There really are so many benefits of having several children … 'course, you typically do not witness them between the hours of 8:00 pm to 6:00 am. Although, come to think of it, the morning after thunder storms or bad dreams, the kids are in a brother or sister's bed instead of mine!
Are you going to have another baby?
The kids are always on the lookout for new baby cues , "Mom, your butt is so big! Are you going to have another baby?!?" Of course, the kids are not the only ones that ask this question. Many people ask, with a sort of morbid fascination, if my husband and I are "done" yet. I do not take offense; I ask myself that question too.
The kids are not alone in assuming there will be another addition in the future. My last Baby Shower Invitation read " You are invited to The Taco Mom's semi-annual Baby Shower!"
"It's time for another baby!"
People tend to assume I planned to have all these kids, but "planned" is a strong word. Once I asked my husband, "Should I have another baby?", But as it turned out, I was already pregnant. My sisters like to tease me and tell me when it's about time for me to have another baby. My response: "You first!"
So … Should YOU have another baby?
In the end, you are the only person who can answer this question for yourself. There are massive heights of joy and love involved in having multiple children, but there is a massive amount of work involved too. If this post looks a little biased towards having more kids, it may be to make myself feel better about having seven children. But seriously, this life is not for everyone. All any of us can do is search our hearts, pray, and accept God's will for us … you know, after a brief period of raging to the heavens.